Birthday thoughts

Random Musings: So today is my birthday. I'm 41 today. Its not a real notable birthday; last year seemed like a much bigger deal obviously. At this time last year I was eating lunch in Estes Park, Colorado after hiking up a mountain with my wife and father. Today, I'm just hanging out with my kids while my wife works. It seems about right.

I'm always reflective at birthday time and today is no exception. My first inclination was to make some massive pledge about how I'm setting aside everything to work on my health for the next 365 days, which isn't a terrible idea, but then I figured something out. I was out running a few errands (including new running shoes, which I'll explain more in a bit), and I sat down at one of those blood pressure machines at an in-store pharmacy. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here before but my BP has been a bit dicey for the last several years. They haven't made me take meds, but I've had to monitor it at home and once they didn't want to let me leave a pre-operative check-up until it came down. Needless to say, it's been concerning and is related to weight, caffeine, age and genetics I suppose. I had fallen out of the habit of tracking it until today when I was very pleased to see it clock in at 121 over 78, which is pretty darn good for me.

Even better, the machine also showed a resting pulse of 50, which is a solid 10-20 beats per minute less than it was in the winter time. So, why am I telling you this? Well, it was evidence that what I am doing is making a difference. As frustrated as I get at my weight and my lack of washboard abs, there is no doubting I am much, much healthier than I was in April and over the winter. I was so busy trying to get to a goal, I kept forgetting to enjoy the progress even when I noted it. After all, as much as I want to look good at the pool, I want to be a 75 year old Ironman triathlete someday and that takes time, time that should be enjoyed, not just endured.

I don't think I need to make a a commitment I may not keep to behave perfectly for a year and set aside all other things to achieve health. Rather I must remember:

We are what we repeatedly do

And I must think about what I want to do repeatedly (besides the obvious of course). I trained repeatedly for 3 months and I regained the ability to be a triathlete. I repeatedly make questionable choices with what I eat and therefore I weigh a certain amount. I repeatedly self-analyze and obsess about multiple options for the future and as a result I usually change very little, because I think and ponder and obsess rather than ever choose:)

So, in my 42nd year I am interested in finding a new level of health and recapturing my self-identify as an athlete. In my 42nd year, I am interested in doing work that not only supports my family, but does some good for the world and for my soul. In my 42nd year, I am interested in broadening my interests beyond my career and building on my strengths to find the place of most potential. Deep Huh?:)

Now what do I need to do repeatedly to go down those paths and enjoy them? Fitness for one really seems to be a matter of repetition...time to get back with my trainer Danni, track my food, and maybe blog more regularly among other things.

Oh, by the way, the photo above is from a birthday roughly 20 years (give or take a year) ago. No real symbolism other than it's a birthday party photo and is the last official sighting of my abdominals:) I was repeatedly detassling corn that summer, which is a good fitness plan.

Exercise update: I've taken a bit of a break this week for a couple reasons. The first is just post-tri recovery, which is mostly bs. I felt fine Monday and biked, but stuck to walking the rest of the week.
The second has been more troubling. My foot has been killing me and by Tuesday it had progressed to feeling like a nail through the front of my foot most of the day. I was getting very down about it, but then on Wednesday I decided to just keep pursuing treatment. I went in to my chiropractor and decided if that didn't get us anywhere than it was back to the podiatrist and if that didn't work, I'd look for more options.

I was very pleased when my chiro said he was very confident I wasn't suffering from plantar fasciitis again, but rather I just had some pretty good joint inflammation from the pounding my feet have taken. The prescribed treatment is rest and ice, which I've been doing in addition to the the electro-stim Dr. Breidenbach did on Wednesday. My feet felt great Thursday and have been a little sore since, but I think I see the path to health for my feet and I'm greatly pleased it's not the old ailment. Of course, every pound I drop will help all my joints including my feet. I also went and replaced my running shoes today. I had purchased a Reebok shoe that took advantage of the more "natural" feel and I think that has been an issue. Perhaps a thinner man with better bio mechanics could benefit from a thinner shoe, but I need cushioning for now.

Nutrition update: I've been tracking food pretty well this week. Wednesday night was my only train wreck, otherwise I've been with the plan, even on light exercise days. I've had some back sliding on soda consumption, so I don't get my monthly massage, but I'm back on the wagon today.

No major indulgences planned for my birthday or for the vacation in the Dells next week. I prefer feeling strong and healthy to feeling bloated and full of crap.

Thanks for indulging a long post, but what could you expect. Blogging about yourself is pretty self-centered and when you add in the birthday...

Happy July 30th...

Weigh in Day

Random Musings: I seem to be trying an every other day entry mode for now. Let us see how it goes.

I weighed in this morning for my official weekly weigh in. If you recall last week was a low low point which inspired some changes. I'm pleased to say that those changes (daily weighing and tracking food) yielded some results. I showed a weight of 199.1 pounds. Not where I want to be, but I am glad to be under 200. I pigged out pretty good after the triathlon on Saturday, but I have been very disciplined since. Let's hope we keep going well moving on. The goal is now to be under 190 for the Urbanathlon


I continue to be concerned about the pain in my right foot. It feels a lot like the plantar fasciitis I struggled with several years ago. I'm trying to use ibuprofen and chiropractic to manage it. Hopefully that will keep me afloat.

Exercise update: My foot really hurts. It's like a nail in the ball of my foot right at the base of my toes. I'm going to take today off. I had plans at the Y, but I forgot my socks:)

I'm feeling a lot of fear about my foot, especially when I'm trying to ramp up my running for a run centered event like the Urbanathlon. Rather than stress I'll get some chiro treatment tomorrow and if that doesn't help, I'll get in to the podiatrist as well. I don't want to give in to the injury.

Nutrition update: Today has been pretty solid. I didn't go out for lunch. I chose to come home and make a sandwich instead. I'll probably miss my calorie target because I'm not exercising at all, but that's ok. Tomorrow is "get your foot fixed day". Time to get out of denial.

And off we go

Exercise update: Recovering from triathlon today, so I stuck with walking the dog. I am pleased that I'm not really sore today from yesterday's efforts. Part of me thinks that means I could have tried harder, but the other part says I followed the plan of using it as a training day primarily. I think it also shows I've built some endurance and ability to recover. I'll get back to regular workouts tomorrow.

The Urbanathlon is 11 weeks from yesterday, so I'll tweak what I'm doing to include more strength training. I'll also focus more on running and include some stairs to prepare for Soldier Field...yikes!!!

Nutrition update: I watched what I ate carefully today and myfooddiary.com would indicate I've been pretty successful. I'm right on the edge calorically and I'm at 9.8% saturated fats when they prefer 9%, but it's a good start. I'm planning on weighing in tomorrow (and every day after) and setting an Urbanathlon goal of 10 pounds lighter than whatever number I get.

Random Musings: Yesterday's post about the triathlon is the most read post I've put up. Thanks for spreading the word, it's very encouraging when people follow what I'm doing and even make comments or suggestions. Rehabbing this old carcass is surely taking a village.

I am debating posting less often (every other day or twice a week or something). Some days the posts are pretty banal and some days I just don't have much to say. I'll think about it for a while, but if anyone cares one way or the other let me know. For today at least, I feel if I speak less often I might have more to say?

Hmmm, I wonder where else that might apply for me:)

Old (yup), Slow (but getting better), TRIATHLETE

Exercise update: Well I made it:) For the first time in 4 years, I was able to complete a sprint distance triathlon. Only triathletes would describe something that takes most people at least 80+ minutes as a "sprint". My sister and I got up early this morning and went to Castle Rock Park to swim 1/4 mile, bike 16 miles, and run 3 very hilly miles.

We both made it. I had done this same triathlon in 2007, but I was at a different point then with fitness and particularly with weight. I can't remember exactly but I was at least 10 pounds lighter than I am today. This has not been lost on me in planning the next event this fall...

My 2011 time was 1:37:39, which compares to a 2007 time of 1:32:13, so I'm 5 minutes and 26 seconds slower four years and 10+ pounds later. I'll take it as a great place to relaunch. My additional time was spread across all phases really, although I took bigger hits on the swim and run than on the bike. I might have gone a little faster if I'd run with more determination, but I reminded myself this was supposed to be part of my training, not the end result, and took a few walking breaks when I was tired.

I'm pretty confident I could get under a 90 minute sprint with some more training, some weight loss etc.

I relearned a lot today, here are a few highlights
- You have to protect your nipples. Like the rookie I seem to have become again, I did not and there is a chafing issue:)

- I needed more swim prep. I did all my work in a pool and it just isn't like open water. I wasted a lot of time swimming way off course and floating on my side in panic, even though I had the endurance to do the swim. Choppy waters were a challenge.

- Prep your equipment better. I lost the computer on my bike because I had dislodged it bringing the bike over and it flew off during the race. Not only does this mean I have to buy a new one, but I rode without knowing my speed or distance all day. I also didn't wear my heart rate monitor, which would have been nice too...

- I'm a good biker, but I could get a lot better, average looking folks passed me regularly

- Most important, I love spending Saturday mornings at this sort of thing and definitely want to do more, although that may be next year since I need to focus on the Urbanathlon now.

That can wait until tomorrow though:)


Nutrition update: I'm eating whatever I want today, and a lot of it...
I will get back to working on weight loss tomorrow. I'll weigh in on Monday and work down 10 pounds from there for the Urbanathlon. It's going to be important for my joints and to do monkey bars, climb walls etc.

Diet will be a renewed and necessary focus.

Random Musings: Not only did today make me feel really good, it was extra good because I got to bring my sister Jessica through her first tri. She did great and learned many of the same lessons I had to relearn. I hope we'll do more together in the future, it's much more fun to go to these things with someone. Historically I've been a bit of a lone wolf.

I'm going to work hard to remember what a good day today was when my spinning mind starts trying to figure out how I want to spend my time on the planet again. Interestingly, I think that's one of the things I like about triathlon and other events; my mind is focused and relatively quiet for almost 2 hours. It's one of the same things I used to like about coaching basketball games. You get to be in the moment, which is always hard for me.

Anyway, it was pretty great day, I'm tired and if my brother-in-law got some good pics, I'll share them soon.

regaining a foothold

Exercise update: With three days to go to the triathlon, I opted for low impact cardio. I spent 42 minutes on the elliptical at the Y and went just over 3 miles. This was easier on my troubled foot and I don't think I'm losing much by not running much this week and focusing on feeling less pain in my foot.I'm hoping to use a hotel pool to swim a little in tomorrow night.

I also braved the heat and took my dog for a 15 minute walk. Swampy....hopefully we catch a weather break on Saturday. Looks dicey for thunderstorms.

Nutrition update: Back on myfooddiary.com... So far I'm within my limits today even with the donuts a co-worker brought. Donuts are my greatest weakness, without compare. I added them in and balanced with a lighter lunch and some exercise. I even used a measuring cup at dinner to make sure how many servings of tortellini I had. It was 2.5 cups by the way. I have 211 calories to spare before bed and might have ice cream or something else.

Time to re-stock the yogurt, that seems to meet my sweets needs on occasion and Men's Health says weight losers eat yogurt:)

Random Musings: I hopped on the scale this morning and it was significantly lighter than my depressing Tuesday. I've still gained over the last few weeks, but it was just depressing not suicidally depressing...

I'm traveling the next two days for work, so I may or may not have blog entries. It will be a challenge as always to make sure I don't overeat. Sometimes an all day meeting can leave you feeling mentally exhausted and you think you actually need food to replenish your imaginary calorie burn. I'm also going to be smart about socializing with my colleagues from around the state. Being social does not require overeating and beer.

So, if I don't write between now and Saturday, hope for good health and good weather. Hopefully it's the shortest triathlon I'll do for several years:) After all it's Olympic Tri or die and olympic is still a few goals away.

I think this is bottom

Random Musings: Today was weigh in day. I knew I had been back sliding recently in many ways, although I felt like I had been compensating with exercise (I know that sounds familiar). Last weeks weigh in said 198 pounds on our new scale (which runs 3-4 pounds higher than the prior one). I've been thinking about daily weigh-ins, but haven't quite gotten there (danger alert, danger alert), although I did weigh myself Saturday and noted the 198.6, but thought I had time to work on it.

Today I stepped on the scale and clocked in at 201.1 pounds!!! That's right, I seem to have gained 2.5 lbs since Saturday. It is hard to describe how bummed out I was. Addicts talk about a need to hit bottom and if this isn't mine, I'm not sure what is... Then I tried to look at things more logically than emotionally.

Saturday night I had 4 beers at a neighborhood gathering, Sunday I had a brat for lunch and Culver's for dinner, yesterday I had Culver's for lunch and pizza for dinner. Also yesterday I decided I needed rest not exercise and added a beer to the evening to make the "relaxing" complete. And of course, I have somehow slipped Cherry Pepsi and it's calories into my diet over the last week. This is not the diet of someone focused on attaining a high level of fitness.

It was just July 5th when I announced that I didn't want to use the food tracker anymore because it was making this unfun. When I look back at that post, it just looks like the rationalization of an addict. I had weighed in heavy that day and hadn't been tracking well the week prior to that, so I decided that I would work out hard and just concentrate on putting good fuel in my body. Hmm, how's that working for you(me) (in the words of William Glasser and Dr. Phil).

So here I am, at rock bottom and feeling like the whole darn thing is a do over. I had intentions of doing the triathlon Saturday at less than 190 lbs. and I'll be lucky to be under 200... I wanted to go to the pool and maybe catch some middle-aged mother's eye and that ain't happening. I wanted to feel strong and healthy and confident and today I feel pretty far from it.

So, what do you do? You learn that delayed gratification is the act of being able to give up what you want NOW for what you want MOST. You get serious and decide that the joy of being pain free and able to complete an Olympic Tri or a half marathon or an Ironman is way better than a stupid cheeseburger today.

And how do I do that? Well for the third time, I go back and start tracking my food. I have clearly proven that I don't lose weight my way, let's see what actually sticking with it might yield. I also need to start weighing in daily since I don't seem to posses the discipline yet to wait a week at a time. And I will remind myself by thinking about the long range view, that no garbage I eat will feel as good as completing the athletic endeavors I'm interested in.

I hope all of you are patient with me,since my patience with myself is wearing thin. I would like this blog to become inspirational at some point for reasons other than "boy you can be really neurotic and still sort of function in the world".

I've eaten ok today and I'm going to the Y tonight. Project do-over commences...again

A day of rest

Exercise update: I had grand plans today of a swim or bike. Instead I decided to listen to my body and rest. I went to the chiro for foot treatment and it is somewhat better, but still kind of sore. I'm trying to treat it and keep training. I think yesterday's marathon of walking didn't help necessarily. Back tot eh gym tomorrow, regardless of the current heat wave. I do hope it's more reasonable by the weekend.

I have accepted the reality that I'll be doing this triathlon 20 pounds heavier than intended, but I'm doing it.

Nutrition update: Today continued what has been a very poor July. I seem to be taking every excuse to make bad choices in terms of food. Rather than drag out the same old story, I think I'll concentrate on improving for the rest of the month and see how I feel.

Random Musings: I've needed to readjust my goals when i realized I just wasn't going to get to where I want to be in this summer physically. Maybe I let that realization allow me to backslide. Can't forget the long obedience in the same direction. it seems the only way to move towards where I want to go.

I hope I can get myself to be more serious about this thing between now and October 15th. I really believe I can, but the evidence of that is sporadic at best.

I haven't felt like I've had much to say lately, but I'm trying to build a habit of writing daily, so forgive the brief posts as of late. I'm sure my usual loquaciousness and overwrought thinking will return.

Always wear sunscreen

No big reports today. We spent most of the day with my brother and his family at Noah's Ark in the Dells. It was fun but it was ridiculously hot and the sun was an issue. As diligent as we tried to be with sunscreen, we all got too much sun.

I was feeling bad for Anne on the way home because her nose was red and I just realized at home that my shoulders are toast. I applied and reapplied sunscreen, but I guess it just wasn't enough for fairly extreme conditions today.

On the diet and exercise front, this certainly qualified as an "active rest" day. My feet were killing me after 6 hours at the water park, but I'm going to try to get into the chiro tomorrow to work on that. I didn't eat a lot, but it was pretty fatty stuff. We'll see the results on Tuesday, although I'm still planning on daily weigh ins for my own information.

Hopefully my feet are ok tomorrow and the morning shower on my shoulders doesn't make me scream.

I did have one insight today and that was that if I were going to be a teacher, Wisconsin Dells might be a good place to do it. You'd keep busy all winter working and then in the summer, you would be a very popular person for friends and family to come visit.

Not quite as fit as I thought

Exercise update: I finally did a real brick (bike and then immediately run) today. It was 87 degrees and it felt really really bad. I hope it was the heat and not evidence that this chubby boy isn't as fit as hoped...

I biked for just over 50 minutes and struggled to run for 18 minutes. Oh well, onward and upward.

Nutrition update: A pretty good day. My food intake was reasonable, although I need to eat something before I go to bed and it is 9:30. We had our neighborhood block party tonight and I sort of forgot to eat and just had a few (4) beers. Not over consumption, but not a recipe for success either. No soda though and that is a plus.

Random Musings: I mentioned our block party above. It is one of the unique things about our little neighborhood that we gather annually and share some food, drinks, and stories. I've come to enjoy it more than I would have ever guessed. Every time I think about picking up and moving, I need to remember we are surrounded by good people, our people really. My favorite tonight was my 86 year old neighbor Charles. I can only hope to age so well. He's got a great sense of humor, is still active, and frankly makes getting older look pretty good.

No big fitness plans tomorrow, just off to meet my brother, his wife, and two of my nephews in Wisconsin Dells. It's supposed to be remarkably hot, but I'm looking forward to it regardless.

Recovering from a bender

Nutrition update: Well the last 36 hours have not been my best. I slipped into a "well I can substitute real (not diet) soda for Excedrin" routine that lasted a couple of days. On Thursday it was one soda in the morning and then my binge said "you know you should go to Culver's, you deserve that." So I did and I added a double cheeseburger and fries to my binge, along with more Cherry Pepsi. It was absolutely my worst lunch error in weeks. And weirdly enough, it wasn't even that good. It left me with an old familiar feeling somewhere between satiated and ill. I found that feeling less comforting than I did when we knew each other better.

The other noticeable change was that my red meat, grease and fat laden meal left me with no appetite until almost 9:00 that night. There might be a useful tip about protein and reasonable amounts of fat in there, but it wasn't a reasonable time. I ate ok at night but my grossness led me to think adding a couple beers to the mix was a good idea as well. Overall a bit of a train wreck.

So, the goal is to bounce back the next day right? Right... I had to go to Tomah early today to teach a workshop for staff, something I really like doing. But, since it was so early, my stinking thinking said, "go with one more Cherry Pepsi for just today" and so I did. I then did my 4 hour workshop and munched on primarily grapes and water all morning, so things were getting better.

When I wrapped up, I was flying pretty high after a successful day and positive feedback (which as we know I live for) and instead of eating the perfectly reasonable box lunch provided for me at my seminar, my brain said "get in the car, you deserve Chinese food (are you seeing a problem with treating food as something I do or do not deserve) and it's right in Sparta. Well even as I pulled into the restaurant for the totally inappropriate meal, I knew it was a bad idea and so I compensated...by drinking water with my massive portions of breaded chicken, egg rolls, and crab rangoons (yes that's pretty weak).

Thankfully this appears to be the end of this binge, I've gotten home this evening, exercised and feel much more balanced. I have very little appetite due to the grease bomb lunch, but I'll wait and eat something reasonable later. If I plant my feet here and get back on track, I suppose I'll live, but my goodness I gave myself a ridiculous 36 hours...by choice even though it doesn't always feel like it. I think those daily weigh ins need to start tomorrow...or Sunday:)

Exercise update: As I mentioned yesterday, I didn't exercise at all. Probably not surprising given the nutrition update above. Tonight I was inclined to claim fatigue and just stay home as well, but I made myself go to the pool and swim for 40 minutes. What a difference maker! I feel so much healthier and was able to swim an uninterrupted stretch of 600 yards (in addition to other sets of laps and drills), which builds confidence for Castle Rock in 8 days. The lesson of the day is that sometimes movement is the answer to fatigue as much as rest might be.

I may have mentioned I'm having trouble with my right foot for the last week. It feels like a bone bruise or something right at the base of my middle toe for lack of a better description. I may have hurt it at the pool with the kids last weekend. I went barefoot for 10-15 minutes because I forgot my water shoes (yes I'm old), and I haven't been right since. I'm trying to be gentle with it. I'll push through it tomorrow to get a brick training done, but if it's hurting after that, I'll stick to swimming and biking until the triathlon and hope that lets things heal.

The tentative plan is to brick tomorrow, use Sunday as play day to meet my brother and his family at WI Dells, train M-W, actively rest Thursday & Friday and race Saturday. Hopefully young Jessica will be ready to go too...

Random Musings: I realized this morning that I forgot to post an updated photo yesterday. Part of me wants to just wait a month because I don't think there has been a ton of progress in appearance (but there has in fitness, this chunky dude can move), but I should fight my instincts, so I'll try to get my daughter to take an update pic tomorrow.

Couple of recommendations for those who like such things...

- Marc Maron is on Real Time with Bill Maher tonight on HBO. Two of my favorite comedians/thinkers, it's got to be entertaining

- I'm just finishing a novel called "The Ask" by Sam Lipsyte. Ironically, Marc Maron recommended it on his podcast. It's very very funny in a twisted way and resonates with tortured middle aged men if you know any:)

More to come, I promise not to weenie out too often on writing like I did yesterday.

Stay cool.

No new tale to tell

I took a total day off. Ate lousy, drank beer and didn't exercise. I don't feel great, but it was actually pretty great. Back on the horse tomorrow:)

Running on (close to) empty...

Exercise update: I ditched the triathlon specific training plan a week or two ago to make sure I didn't view the triathlon on the 23rd as an ending event. Since then I've been training more by feel, meaning that I listen to my body and do more of what I want, along with the understanding that I need to make sure it includes running, biking, and swimming. That way I train right through the tri and spring toward the Urbanathlon....theoretically.

Today was a good example of that new approach. I know I'm a little light on swimming, but I didn't feel like waiting until lap time at the pool, so I chose running over biking. How did I do that? Well, I know my instinct is to choose the bike every time because that's what I enjoy, but I also know that running is the "best" kind of fit in my mind and I'm building endurance in that area.

Anyway, I went out and ran a fairly slow and comfortable 4.5 miles. I'm having a little pain in my right foot, like right at the base of my toes, but I seem to be able to work around it. My running involves a 3 minute warm up walk with lunges and I took a couple one minute walk breaks during the run as well. Even with that, I appear to be training at less than 10:00 miles, which means I'm getting stronger. I do have some aspirations of getting back in the 7 minute mile range (like when I was 30), but that is a whole other year-long project. I'm pleased for now. Long slow distance builds strength and some speed comes naturally. When I shift my focus to running and strength for the Urbanathlon, I expect some good growth as well.

Nutrition update: Nothing too weird to report today. I ate pretty well overall with my only slip being some Cherry Pepsi that I didn't need. I did that instead of an Excedrin for caffeine, but that seemed pretty flimsy even as I was doing it. I am noticing a decrease in my appetite lately. I hope that's a good thing. For example, after I blogged last night, I decided to indulge in some ice cream and made a fairly large bowl. I ate about half of it and realized I'd met my ice cream needs (physically and emotionally), so I threw it away. Tonight I made a massive portion of tortellini for dinner and only ate about 2/3rd's. I hope that's progress and not some unnamed disease that steals your appetite.

I'm flirting with the idea of weighing in daily (but only posting it weekly) as a greater tool for accountability each day. My fear is that I'll ride an unnecessary emotional roller coaster if the number swings tenths of a pound in the wrong direction....I'll think about it some more, but I'm leaning towards trying it for a while. When I weigh myself weekly on Tuesday, it's too easy on the prior Wednesday to pig out and promise myself I'll make up for it.

Random Musings: Today I'm wondering about how we lose track of old friends. I spent the better part of my 20's maintaining friendships with a group of people I grew up with and now we never see each other. The miracle of Facebook connects us a little, but it's weird to think that just over a decade ago, these were primary figures in my life and now I'm not sure what we are to each other. Maybe it's marriage, kids, careers or something else that gets in the way, but on certain days I feel kind of bad about it. Today must be one of those days. I'm pretty sure that my best friend outside my family currently is my 68 year old former boss...seems a little weird.

They say you can't make old friends, certainly true.

Just like starting over

Random Stuff: I weighted in on the new scale today and the new magic number was....198.0 :(

Actually I'm not that sad, I knew the new scale would weigh differently, but the irony of re-acquiring my start weight from April was not lost on me. It's just a new baseline to work from, progress will continue. Tomorrow...

Oh yeah and I saw on Facebook today that my brother is a lot faster than I am (at least on a treadmill). There is no reason for that to be true, so I may be committing to being much faster than him over the next year too:) Not that I have a competition problem.

Felt like the token liberal in management at work today, but I'll save that story for another time. God Bless Scott Walker, I'm learning so much about people.

Exercise Update: I planned on running tonight but I'm having foot pain and I'm just darn tired. I think I'll go a a good rest on this weigh in day and refocus tomorrow.

late addendum: Pizza guilt motivated em to go do 40 minutes on the elliptical at the Y. My foot loosened up and I feel pretty good. However I do not recommend 40 minutes of cardio within 30 minutes of eating pizza.

Nutrition update: Pretty good day, no major goofs. I avoided soda and fast food, although I am indulging in a small Tombstone pizza tonight to alleviate my depression. Well, that's only partly true... I'm not depressed, but pizza will make me briefly feel better. Tomorrow I'll start delaying gratification better. it's a concept my brother reminded me of that I'm supposedly good at:)

All cheap shots aside, it's a good idea...tomorrow. All things in moderation, including moderation.

Starting to get excited

Random Musing: You should see my eyebrows. One of the things that happens to us early middle aged men is weird stuff starts to happen with hair. I am fortunate that most of the hair on my head is still present, nothing wrong with baldness in general, but when you are 5'8" and your head is a little larger than that...I'm not sure bald ends well. The day may come, but I'll wait as long as I can. My hair has been graying for 13 years though and is now well beyond "graying" to just "gray."

But back to my eyebrows. A few years back I added the occasional trimming of an eyebrow to my regimen of nose hair trimming and more recently some stray ear hairs as well (like I said middle age and hair). I just hadn't paid much attention to my eyebrows for the last couple weeks and when I did look this morning at work, I was surprised to see Andy Rooney's eyebrows looking back at me. As a man, I might have been happy if you said there was part of my body that stuck straight out rigidly for a great distance from the rest of my body...provided it wasn't my damn eyebrow! But I trimmed them up and my relative youth is restored until the next indignity.

On the excitement front, I am stating to get fired up about the Castle Rock Triathlon on the 23rd. It feels like a bit of a re-birth. I know I've done several of these sort of things in my past but the last one was 4 years ago and my life mileage is up since then, so I'm pretty proud to be ready for a sprint tri. Barring mechanical issues of bike or body, I'll be able to reclaim the word triathlete on July 23rd. That's pretty cool and I should remember than when I'm feeling flabby at the pool or depressed on the scale.

Exercise update: After two pretty tough training days, I elected to take a rest day today. My only activity was walking Jake the dog in the heat. I'm planning on running or swimming or both tomorrow. The rest day seemed to make sense, but I hope I don't regret it too much weighing in tomorrow. I already suspect the new scale will provide a higher number than the old one, but I must remember it's just a new baseline. I don't really weigh more, the scale is just new... That's not rationalizing is it?

Nutrition update: We have bagels in the house which meant one for breakfast and one for a snack later. And of course someone brought scones for a treat at work. When you combine that with a PBJ and apple for lunch followed by spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, I may be a bit carb heavy today. My body seems to love the carbs, but I need to wean off.

Also, I did drink a soda at work today. It wasn't diet, it was regular, so I avoided NutraSweet, but did add some useless calories. I may have cut back on the Excedrin too soon. I was working on a major headache at about 1:30 which sent me towards the warm arms of my new friend Cherry Pepsi.

On the good side, I seem to avoid most fast food and this is the least soda I've drank in years.

Have a good night and think light tomorrow morning, so I don't jump out the window.

A brief note

Random musing: I'm whipped after an active and nice 3 day weekend. The kids have shifted to summer schedules, so it gets later when I put this together because I usually wait for them to go to bed. So, Ill keep it short.
Took the kids to the pool today and realized I won't make my goal of being notably fit at the pool this summer. I'll keep moving that direction and maybe I can get some middle aged mom attention next year:)

Exercise update: Rode 16 + miles on my bike in less than an hour. That's what I'll need to do on the 23rd, so I'm glad I could today.

Nutrition update: No real news here. Left the soda alone for another day and cut back to half an Excedrin for caffeine. I'm making progress. My diet was a bit carb heavy with pasta for lunch and rice for dinner.Other than that, I'd say it was a pretty solid day.

Night y'all

No big news

Exercise update: Opted for just running today instead of a bike/run brick. I'm nervous that I'm not doing enough running for the Urbanthlon, so I ran 40+ minutes instead of the 20 I would have for the brick. Felt pretty good, I think I'm running 10 minute miles in training. Tonight I added a pretty significant hill, which will be more and more important. Most of my running has been on flats til now. I do worry about my weight and it's effect on running, but I'm building slowly and trying to shed pounds. That's all I can think of to do.

Nutrition Update: No soda again today. I really wanted one and almost talked myself into it in the afternoon, but I won the mental battle. I am finding that I need to drink more water than I had been in the habit of. I'm actually a tad dehydrated, which was being masked my the flow of soda through my body.
I know soda dehydrates you too, but with all the trips to the bathroom, it didn't seem as pronounced.
I ate pretty well today. I did take the kids to Grizzly's for lunch, but I stuck with rotisserie chicken sandwich and half of the fries they gave me. That'll do for now. So far tonight, it's just a handful of raisins and a PBJ. We'll see if I can concoct a healthy snack for bedtime if I need one.

Random item: Our antiquated scale bit the dust finally. I bought a new digital one, but I need to exchange it due to a bad lid for the batteries. I'm thinking measuring to the tenths of a pound might be motivating. However, when my wife and I tried the defective one, it showed each of us about 4 pounds heavier than the old one did. Trying not to stress about that and remember the number is less relevant than making it go down.

But I thought I should share so if Tuesday shows a big regression in the weigh in number, we won't all get depressed:)

Planning on a major bike ride tomorrow to start off the week's workouts. I'll plan on my one serious brick next weekend. Two weeks until Castle Rock, I'm looking forward to it, chunky or not. I hope my little sis is healthy enough to go. Rumor has it she pulled a muscle when she got herself to swim finally. She's been running for months, so I don't worry about her making it unless she gets injured. I hope not, it would be much more fun together.

A darn near perfect day

Random Musing: Don't be deceived by today's title. It's not about me performing perfect in my on-going battle against middle age. Rather, it's about telling you about a day that is as close to how I would want a day to be as I've had in some time. Let me tell you about it and how it fits with exercise (GOOD) and nutrition (ehh)...

Let me start by saying that today was a random vacation day from work, which is always a nice way to start things. I don't mean to imply that I dislike my job, in fact I generally enjoy it, but I will always prefer free time to work time. I also should acknowledge that my work does allow for fun days like today by virtue of paying me:)

Anyway, we packed up the car about 9 a.m. with bicycling stuff and headed for Lanesboro, Minnesota. We spent the day riding the bike trail over there and followed it up with an inner tube trip down the Root River. That led to a late lunch at a great little restaurant in the touristy town and then we drove back to La Crosse. After crashing for a couple hours at home, I took the kids to the YMCA and they swam while I did a workout to prep for the triathlon. All in all a pretty spectacular day: it was active, I had fun with my wife and kids, and it was stress free.

Actually, if I weighed what I wished I weighed, this day was perfect, but in reality it was a weight maintenance day at best. I hope to need maintenance days in the future, but right now I need to be on the weight loss path. Let me explain in the usual format.

Exercise update: This was a great day in this regard. Not only did we ride 8-9 miles round trip on the bike trail with the kids, we splashed around in tubes for an hour in the river. It was a very active day, which is always best. In addition, I got myself to the pool and did an actual workout. I swam for about 35 minutes and at one point swam 450 consecutive yards just to assure myself I can in two weeks at Castle Rock. I am tubby but ready.

Nutrition update: Here's where things are less sunny. Let's go through what I ate today.

7:45 - banana

8:30 - Banana bread

8:45 - half a hash brown that Cameron didn't want (no reason to eat it, but my wife said it was there)

11:00 - Giant Slice of Raspberry Cream pie at the pie shop in Whalan, MN. We had to bike 4+ miles to get it and the store is famous for it, so I indulged.

12:00-1:00 - Munch some animal crackers (just a couple, while floating down the river with Cameron)

2:00 - California Pesto Pizza (3 slices), not bad, not great. had artichoke hearts, tomatoes and other veggies and no meat, but there was plenty of cheese.

3:00 - Stopped in Rushford for my wife to get ice cream at great little shop "Do you want some Chad?" "Sure why not..." That equals a two scoop waffle cone of Raspberry truffle delight:)

7:30 - PBJ

You know actually as I look at it, I see only two big problems. No need for the ice cream in Rushford and I still need more fruits and veggies. It felt worse than it looks on screen.

Anyway, when I am fit and at a healthy weight, this is the kind of day I wouldn't mind reliving over and over again.

And the beat goes on

Exercise report: I did get up in time to go to the pool this morning, however...the darn thing was packed so I didn't go down and swim. I had the best of intentions of swimming later in the day, but I had an all day retreat at work which concluded with a couple beers and I decided to just walk the dog instead. Tomorrow we are taking the kids biking and tubing on the Rot River so it should be a good active day. I'll need to hit my training better on the weekend. These two days essentially off make me feel a little nervous, but I'll rebound... I have to

Nutrition report: A pretty successful day. I didn't overindulge in treats at the retreat with the exception of strawberry short cake as a birthday treat for a co-worker. Well maybe the two beers weren't brilliant either. That has trended into an evening with a light dinner, so overall it's an ok day, but light on vegetables except for the side salad with lunch.
I have not had a diet soda in 5 days. I did start the day with a Cherry Pepsi rather than my Excedrin, but if I'm going to have a soda. I'm going with a real one instead of the NutraSweet experience.

You know as I write this, I'm not sure this really was successful day nutrition wise...

Random Musings: Today was a big "who is going to be in charge of what" day at work. We didn't resolve anything, but lots of ideas and thought provoking discussion. It of course throws me into some career confusion, but I'm trying to resolve that by digging towards my core to figure out what I actually want to do with my remaining time on the planet and balance that with money concerns and time concerns and quality of life concerns etc.

Perhaps a good night's sleep will get me more in the moment. I always feel like I should be adding something to my work tool belt for improvement, but I don't want it to squeeze out growth and improvement in other needed areas. You know, like getting my fat old butt in shape.

oops, I slipped

Nutrition update:I broke down and had a soda today with my lunch. It's going to be a very pricey soda since I promised my daughter $5 each time I drank one. It wasn't all disaster however, I just went with one cup with lots of ice at lunch and it was real soda, not diet, so my NutraSweet fast continues. I'm back on the wagon tomorrow.

The culprit (other than my ever rationalizing brain) was the dreaded combo meal. I went to Rocky Rococo's and my discount card gives me a dollar off a combo. A combo is a slice, a salad, and a soda. It's actually more expensive to order it without the soda. Now I suppose I could say just give me a combo price and I'll drink water...but that isn't what I did. I am pleased to say that I only ate half of what I stuffed into the salad bar bowl and stuck with the veggie slice. All in all a healthy if high cal (thanks to salad dressing and mac salad) lunch.

My live cheaper goal for July is still intact, but more lunches at home and more bike riding to work instead of driving can't hurt.

Exercise update: I am taking the day off after two relatively strenuous days in a row. I have an all day retreat for work tomorrow, so I'm going to go to the pool early in the morning and do my swim workout. I am actually pretty tired tonight and I wonder if it has anything to do with the caffeine boost at lunch. Perhaps I'm crashing harder now because of it. Tomorrow will be an interesting day because these work retreats are always filled with good food and I will need to be disciplined. Another good reason to swim in the a.m.

Random Musings: With about 5 weeks to go until classes start again in the fall, I finally have my legs under me again at work. It seems to take longer each summer to reach equilibrium. Obviously I'm working in the summer, but I'm able to take more vacation days and the pace is a little easier, mostly because I don't have 30-50 at-risk kids in my department every day.

It's these times where I feel pretty good, that might be work danger zones from me. I've had a weird summer, where people from odd corners have said very flattering and unexpected things to me about their aspirations for me. It is of course very flattering, but for someone who is influenced by that stuff way too much, it can be hard to sort out their aspirations and the good feelings it brings me from what I really want to do. Maybe I'll talk more about that another time, it's a weird thing to complain about...

Just as a quick example, I remember 3 years ago at my class reunion... I was talking with someone who had been a friend but not a close one and she asked me what I was doing now. I had just been promoted weeks earlier after a long process to get there. I was the youngest Dean in my college by 12 years. I was feeling pretty darn impressive and accomplished.

Her disappointed response: "Oh wow, I would have pictured you doing something much more creative..." I obviously remember it to this day and I think I bought a guitar six months later. Obviously I struggle to sort my own expectations from others expectations of me.

Not happy..but determined

Nutrition update: Weighed in this morning and...(drum roll please), I weighed 195 pounds! That is correct, I gained a pound. Needless to say I felt frustrated and disappointed. I suppose my diet hasn't been all that disciplined as I tried to get away from the online tracker. I just so desperately want to be able to eat healthfully without tracking every bite, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. On the other hand, I just stopped tracking last week, maybe I can get there? It's all so confusing and I hate that a scale number impacts my day that way.

So, I'm going to let go of the tracker for a while and save the $9 a month since I'm not using it effectively anyway. I have so much evidence other than the scale that I'm making progress. My clothes fit better, I sleep better, I have more energy, and I look better naked (not good, just better:). Just because I haven't hit the magic number yet doesn't make this all pointless and right now tracking and measuring isn't making it fun. So, I'm going to concentrate on increasing my fitness, making good dietary choices on a daily basis, and enjoying the process a bit more. I'll still weigh in on Tuesdays, because I need that, but I need a better approach to nutrition.

When I use the food tracker, it seems that I evolve into a game of saving or earning enough calories to eat a lot of food, and often crappy food, at night. That is not a sustainable pattern and a focus on calories takes me there. So, for now, I'll focus on training and putting better fuel in my body. If I don't have better results by the Urbanathlon, then we'll adjust again. I know I need to lose weight, but maybe getting it lower on the goal list will make this more fun.

Exercise update: I took my daughter to her log rolling class tonight and used the opportunity to take a treadmill run. It felt terrible until I warmed up, but after than I did just over 4 miles in just over 40 minutes. The older I get, the longer it takes to get warm running. I suppose that makes sense and maybe I'd be better served if I warmed up more before running. I usually just walk a couple minutes and then start running and each mile move the dial up .1/mph. It takes about 10 minutes for it to feel good, so maybe I should warm up for 10 on something less jarring.

I worry most about my weight when it comes to running. I can bike heavy and fat people even float better, but a heavy guy running seems to have more joint trouble and pulled muscles etc. This alone is reason enough to keep making better food choices. I'd like to get through that Urbanathlon and extra weight does not help.

Today is day three without Diet Pepsi and I'm hoping a few months of that might pay dividends as well. I did feel fatigued this afternoon but I drank water instead and seemed to find better energy than caffeine energy.

All of that may sound noble, but I was jonesing for a soda for much of the day.

Random Musing: I'm offering a Framework for Understanding Poverty training next week out in Tomah for staff at the extended campuses. I'm really looking forward to that. It feels like important work and I think I'm pretty good at it. One of my frustrations at work is that I think you should try to be great at something and I don't always have a picture of what a great dean would even look like. On the other hand, when it's just me leading an activity or doing my own project, the path seems clearer.

I met a guy in Minneapolis a couple years ago and he said something that stuck with me. We were talking about an approach to education called Restitution and I was trying to understand it at a granular level so I could implement it. The gentleman could see I was struggling with it. It's due to a rare form of perfectionism, where if I'm not sure I can totally do something correctly, I just don't start. Weird I know, but it's true.

Anyway, Dan (the guy in Minneapolis in this circular tale), came over and told me about Bruce Lee. He said that Bruce Lee's martial arts didn't follow any particular invented discipline at the time. Instead he just got so remarkable and excellent at what he was doing that they decided he had invented a new discipline of sorts. The lesson was, don't worry about being perfect or replicating something, worry about being so remarkable at something that people can't help but pay attention. I haven't found my something yet (sometimes I think it's talking to groups), but the lesson seems spot on.

Independence Day...from Diet pepsi

It's late. I'm tired, so today's update will be brief. Tomorrow is a weigh-in day after mostly not tracking my food for a week,so I'm sure I'll have more to talk about.

Exercise update: I rode my bike for just under an hour today. It felt great. I think I want to do one of those long bike tours someday like RAGBRAI (Google it). I was feeling a bit cornered by my training calendar so a few days of following my instincts and just making sure it includes biking, running, and swimming seems like a good idea. I certainly felt fresher today. I think I'll run tomorrow, maybe swim too. We'll see, ooh the mystery of it all:)

Nutrition update: Ate pretty darn well today, and probably most importantly, no soda at all. I'm still taking the Excedrin for caffeine headaches, but no aspartame entered my body today, at least though beverages. The darn stuff is hard to avoid.

Tomorrow will be interesting to see if my more relaxed approach to my diet has an impact one way or the other. The last 3 weigh-ins have been virtually identical, I'm hoping for downward movement.

Random musing: I wish I could say I was excited about going back to work tomorrow, but I'm just not. Maybe a longer vacation later this summer will re-charge the batteries.

Be well.

First day post-soda

Nutrition update: Well it's 6:11 and I am sodaless for the day thus far. I'm not caffeine free ( I took an Excedrin and I drank a Green tea), but no Diet Pepsi has crossed my lips. I checked the Lipton Green Tea after I drank it and it has NutraSweet, so that won't be on my list to drink anymore either.

I am definitely an addict because even without the crushing headaches of caffeine withdrawal, my mind and body were calling for soda at multiple points today. I also can notice that my mood is just off, I'm overly sensitive and tad grumpy. I did promise my daughter $5 every time she sees me with a soda, so my cheapness should overcome my addiction. It was pretty funny though when she told me she was feeling short on money, so go ahead and have one if I want...

I've eaten ok today, not perfect but ok. My focus on food has started with eliminating the evil brown liquid that I consume 40-60 oz. of daily.

Exercise update: Today was a down day, so I just went for a 40 minute walk with the dog. Tomorrow is supposed to be a swim, but I'm not sure any pools are open, so I may switch to biking. I feel like I can be flexible with my training for the Castle Rock Tri since I'm not trying to go particularly fast. For instance, the schedule I have in my book has a taper week prior to the race, which I have decided to mostly ignore. I'll take it easy a couple days prior to the race, but I don't want the schedule to create a mental perception that I've hit an end goal when I do the race. Too often that sort of thinking leads to a little time off, which in turn becomes 3 years off ...

Instead I want to treat it as if I'm training right through it with my eye on the October Urbanathlon. Also, I don't know if I'll get to it this week, but I need to get some strength training in before October, or the Urbanathlon will be extra difficult; crossing the Monkey bars, climbing walls etc.
I'm trying to connect with Danni (my trainer) this week, maybe we'll do some strength training, although her help in the pool has been good too. I'm trying not to micromanage myself, my brother told me don't over think, just move,so that's what I'm trying to do...I think:)

Random Musings: I think I've mentioned I'm moving my old catalog of music from my CD's to iTunes. I am consistently amazed at the power of music to evoke memory and thought. I rediscovered the Wallflowers the other day; they could have been really great, what happened?

Today, I was listening to deep cuts off Tom Petty's Wildflowers. Perhaps I'm overreacting, but if London Calling isn't the best album of all time, this has to be. It's almost 20 years old, and it's just perfect. I always fund Tom Petty to be fascinating because his best work (in my opinion) came deep into his career. He was good with the Refugees in the late 70's and 80's, but between Full Moon fever (his first solo album), Wildflowers, and Into The Great Wide Open, he became one of the greats.

Like I said, music is deeply associated with memory and time and these three albums came during a fairly turbulent period for me from 1989-1995. Maybe that's why they remain so powerful. They are connected to falling in and out of love, dropping in and out of college, and finding a place to plant my feet and start climbing to a real adult life.

Wildflowers in particular is Petty's masterpiece to me. I have visceral memories of listening to it in a series of apartments I lived in ranging from La Crosse to Arcadia to Fountain City through the mid to late 90's. It goes right along with a life arc that had a bottom and a bounce it in somewhere and led me to my life today. It's funny what you end up grateful for, when at the time, it seems like the end of the world, but in many ways was the beginning.

Well, I'm getting a bit deep (or drippy my spouse would say), so I'll think I'll end it for today. here is a quote from one of those tracks I rediscovered today. Hopefully it means something to you, but if it doesn't, that's cool too. I hope you have some music or poetry or books that effect you on an emotional level.

From Crawling Back to You on Wildflowers:
I'm so tired of being tired,
Sure as night will follow day,
Most things I worry about,
Never happen anyway

Deep huh:)

The family that runs together

Exercise update: Today was a lot of fun. Our little city has a large 5k/10K race called the Chileda Classic that has about 1400 runners in it annually. Much to my surprise, my 9 year old daughter led a push to get our family to enter and encouraged her friends to run too.

If you know my daughter you know she tends to get what she wants (particularly from me), so we ended up with both of my kids running along with me, 3 of Hannah's friends and one of her friends' mom. Hannah had actually completed a 5K last November so I didn't doubt her ability to finish, although today was far hotter. I do have to admit that I was unsure about my 6 year old's ability to do the race. I was pleasantly surprised that he did the whole darn thing with me. We "ran" at a turtle's pace and with multiple walk breaks, but we never stopped moving. That had been our deal, you can walk but you just can't stop.

The payoff for young Cameron was having tons of people cheering for him at the finish and having his name announced over the PA system to the crowd. All pain seemed to be forgotten and the experience will be remembered positively, which is always my goal.

My daughter ran the whole way with her friend Rachel and they finished about 10 minutes ahead of us. Hannah's other friend, Alice (not pictured above) finished 10 minutes ahead of that: I've encouraged her parents to solicit scholarships:). And Rachel's brother ran with his Mom, so our whole little group pictured above finished.

As a middle aged man looking for meaningful experiences, days like this are right up there.

I didn't get a big workout from the 5K so I'll run on my own for 20 minutes later.

Nutrition update: Solid so far today. I didn't track it online, but I've really only eaten healthful food. The amount might be a bit high because the pancake breakfast after the race was just so good. A solid day so far and worth building on.

My big nutrition decision today is to give up soda immediately. After reading the most recent of many articles talking about the connection between diet soda and obesity and diabetes, I give up. I'll fight the headaches with Excedrin, but I am off soda, I will not drink it again, which should be fairly miserable for a week or so. Here is the fact that got me "Frequent users (yeah that's me), who said they consumed two or more diet sodas a day, experienced waist circumference increases that were 500 percent greater than those of non-users. " Yikes!

So I'll try to report on my progress. If I can beat French Fries, I can beat soda.

July has to be about food

Exercise update: I hadn't planned on any sort of official workout today, but I did one for a couple reasons. The first reason is that I'm a little nervous about getting my bike/run brick in tomorrow since my wife works all weekend and the kids and I are running the Chileda Classic in the morning. The other more pertinent reason is that I decided to take my daughter out to lunch (Oriental Chicken wrap and French Fries at Applebee's) and I knew I had clearly exceeded my allowances for a non-workout day.

So, it is a best of times/worst of times scenario. On the best side, I am one fit fat guy. I can jump on a stationary bike and bang out 20+ miles in under and hour, and remember it was just a few months ago I talked about 30 "aggressive" minutes on an elliptical. That is definite progress.
But... I have clearly proved that my fundamental instinct is to cover up questionable diet choices with exercise. This is a great weight maintenance strategy but I'm 20 pounds from a weight worth maintaining...

Think good thoughts for me dragging my 9 and 6 year olds through a 5K at 8:00 tomorrow morning. It should be slightly cooler, so that will help.

Nutrition Update: As noted, I probably stayed within the calorie limit today thanks to 50 minutes on the stationary bike at the Y. But I did not make workthe plan I had of simply tracking a no exercise day and seeing if I could stay within the guidelines.

At this point, I think I can confirm that half of my goals are being met. I am much fitter than I was in mid-April when I began and I am exercising very regularly 4-5 days a week. However, while my diet has improved (rarely eat McDeath anymore), I can't say my nutrition is supporting my weight loss and health goals overall. There are 30 days left in July starting tomorrow and I'm going to try to really dial in on nutrition for those 30 days. I'll need to work on specifics, but I feel like cardio exercise was my priority for 2 months and now I need a month of putting diet at the top of the list.

I can use the tracker and any other tool, but I'm feeling pretty good about just trying to add more healthy choices to each day. I'm not sure it will be reflected on the scale, but I can assure you I simply feel better on the days I've eaten better. Maybe August can be a focus on strength training, which is another missing element from my transformation. I'll certainly need to put the whole package together to have a successful Urbanathlon.

Random Musings: I am enjoying the extended days before the weekend as a break from the office. I do enjoy not working:)
Lots of work stuff going on next week that might mean a lot or very little depending on how it turns out, I'll keep you up to date if it matters.
Today's fantasy was to be a licensed counselor and then spend an early retirement working around the country as a traveling therapist. It looks on the web like those opportunities exist. Of course, I'd have to actually go to school for counseling and acquire the hours for licensure etc. but as a fantasy it sounded pretty good.