I know I shouldn't and yet I do

Random Musings: First the good news. I am losing some weight. In fact, I think I'm down about 5 pounds from my peak. That feels pretty good and I'm close to getting my scale to regularly read below 200 lbs. I certainly hope that once I'm there, I don't stick my nose above 200 again. I need to get to 180 by Riverfest in July and I think I still can.

And now the bad news: This weight loss hasn't been from any real positive behavior change. While I can say I am eating less in general, the quality of what I'm eating has improved very little so far. I need to reduce calories in general, but I desperately need to increase fruits and vegetables. Just because you can lose lose weight on fast food doesn't mean it's a good idea. In addition, I spent 3 days pretty ill this week after a trip to Washington DC, and my lack of appetite was also a weight loss plan that can't be sustained.

In general, the last two weeks haven't been real great other than weight results. I went almost 2 weeks without working out because I let work stress win and then crashed with illness this week, so I feel like I'm only back on track as of Groundhog's Day. Hopefully that will launch me into a successful week with class and small group.

On the career front, I just found out my employer will no longer be providing any sort of health care benefit for early retirement. I didn't expect to retire at 55, but I did think part of the deal of taking a public sector salary was the opportunity to hang it up a bit early and do other things. Retirement was distant vision for me, but I am re-thinking how I'd like to spend my professional time between now and age 65. I'm fairly successful in my work, but it takes up a ton of my energy and excludes other things. I am pondering ways to improve that. Maybe it's finding a higher paying job with better benefits to try for an early retirement, or more likely find a way to balance things to make room for other interests. Easier said than done....

Nutrition update: I can't say I've done a good job changing my diet yet. As noted I'm eating less, but my real long term goal is to eat more of the good stuff. I had set a goal in class of 5 fruits daily and I can say I haven't come close to that in any of the 12 subsequent days. And I thought fruits would be easier than vegetables. The goal this week will be simpler. I'm going to eat a salad a day. That is the goal.

I am also reducing my soda intake. I had hoped to quit it in February (the beginning), but it will have to be by the end. Cold turkey means I get headaches and I'm a pain in the ass from caffeine withdrawal. This goal has sat out there for years. It is time to actually do it.

This will be my best nutrition week in years. I promise.

Exercise Update: As noted, did very poorly the week of the 23rd. Work was insane and I gave in and came home nightly to vegetate. I know I shouldn't and yet I do. That could be the title of my book:)

On Monday the 31st, I took a massive walk around Washington DC at night (highly recommend it if you get the chance) and then I didn't do a thing until Friday. Friday Saturday and Sunday have been positivies with 2 trips to the YMCA and a long walk with the dog. Hopefully I am back on track. The whippet thin health educator challenged us to make fitness and nutrition non-negotiables in our schedule. I am moving that way. It just seems the easy thing to sacrifice whenever there are issues. I struggle to say "I'm not available to meet, I have exercise class", but I am entitled to and should.

Much February exhaustion and confusion, but I'm glad to have lost a couple pounds and remain resolute.

Thanks for reading, it makes me feel oddly better.