End of April...Beginning of ??

I am enjoying a rare couple hours alone at home on a Saturday night. My daughter is away overnight with a friend and my son and his compensatory overnight guest went to a shadow puppet show with my wife (yeah we're weird like that). She was kind enough to let me stay home. Being alone at home is such a rare event, that it really is sort of a treat. I certainly owe her...

Saturdays really change as you get older. I was struck by that fact tonight when I left for the YMCA at 4:45 for a workout and realized I was pretty fired up to spend my early Saturday evening getting a workout in. The excitement increased because I realized the Y would be pretty quiet, because people younger than me tend to do more exciting things on Saturdays:)

I remember a much different version of Saturday in my teens and 20's. Mostly fueled by wanting to make sure I didn't miss anything or god forbid, miss the chance to talk to a girl that liked me. I suppose it seemed fun back then, but my emotional memories feel more like anxiety and desperation. Generally I've enjoyed aging and the evolution of my weekends is generally an ok thing with me.

For anyone reading, I want to give a very strong recommendation for the podcast WTF with Marc Maron. if you think I'm neurotic, you have to meet Marc (at least virtually). He's a very acerbic and funny comedian, but the podcast is more than funny. I listen to it often during my workouts and I suspect many of you would enjoy it. It's raw and honest and he interviews a very eclectic group in ways that get better information than other places. Thank you for indulging my random plug of something I don't make money on. On to the business of the blog...

Exercise update: Today was a good day. I went at the elliptical machine pretty aggressively for 37 minutes and felt good. I was working hard but not dying. I must admit that elliptical fitness feels like the lowest form of fitness to me, but progress is progress. I followed that with a complete circuit around the cybex circuit at the Y. I continue to believe resistance training might be an X factor (along with diet) that gets me closer to my goals, since I've rarely stuck with it in the past.

I still can't make up my mind about a June triathlon. Might just look for a 5k or two to do since running fitness feels more fit than elliptical.

Tomorrow's plan is to get in the pool for drills and a moderate workout before hitting it hard on Monday prior to Tuesday's weigh-in.

Nutrition update: Success!!! I have tracked my food today in my food diary and eaten healthfully all day. It's been a nice recovery from the return to work disaster yesterday. Anne made carrot/raisin muffins which were great and really provided a good food base for the day. I'm still short on fruit and veggies today but I'll take a "no junk" day as a win right now. Since tomorrow is the first of May, I had aspirations of some giant food related goal, but in the spirit of going against my grandiose instincts, I'm setting a smaller, achievable goal. I'm pledging to eat no french fries for the entire month... Hopefully this will build a new habit and break my liking for fried greasy potatoes.

Tomorrow's blog will be centered on sleep and supplements, cause I have lots of questions about how to do both better.

Here's to hoping the weather is better soon.

A tale of two mindsets

Today's wins: I came home dog tired from my first day back at work and put on my running shoes and went and ran more than 3 miles. I'm not quite back to where I was when I hurt my hamstring a month ago prepping for the GB 1/2 marathon, but I can definitely feel progress. I have to admit I'm a little jealous of my two sisters and brothers-in-law, who are alomost ready for the1/2 in two weeks...
I followed up the run with a walk with Cameron and Jake (the dog). It's always fun to see what planet my son is inhabiting on a given day. I can remember just getting time alone with my Dad when I was little to talk...it always seemed like a big deal. I need to try to give that to Cameron more often. God knows he loves to talk:)

Today's losses: I let returning to work activate a bunch of old, bad habits. I won't list what I ate, but it was garbage. I consumed twice as much diet soda than I did any day that I was off. I forgot to drink water all morning. The best news was that I didn't add a bunch of snacks to my pathetic meals, but at best today's grade was a D. Perhaps just returning for one day of work will give me impetus to do better this weekend building better habits. I'll do better not starting tomorrow, but starting right now.

Random Musings: It is amazing the onslaught of energy that comes at me when I return from any extended time away from work. It is as if everyone who works with me has been waiting for me to get back to ask whatever crucial question they've been grinding on. It is truly the challenge of an administrator to honor each person's point of view and realize that their issue is important to them, even if you are aware of 12 things that would bury it on your list.

My mom left a job a long time ago and said it was because she was just tired of supervising people. I remember thinking that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. I have since apologized:)

It is exhausting doing that kind of work and when you combine it with the fact that people apparently think your title gave you some sort of mythical vision and intelligence, it just seems silly. I'm not sure why anyone thinks I have some great grand scheme in mind, when we are both aware they have no plan for third hour...

Any of my teacher friends reading this, give your boss a break, he or she is just some human trying to figure crap out, same as you. They may make a little more money(although that's debatable where I work, if you calculate on days worked or in some cases straight up), but they are working for it. Every time you wish they understood your job better, realize that means you probably don't understand theirs either.

Oh and by the way, I work with good people in a nice place, those of you who are in opposition to people at work...I don't know how or why you keep doing it. It seems to me that if we spent more time fixing problems as opposed to blame we'd all be better served. Regardless of our level of competence, we are all generally in our careers for the right reasons.

Thus endeth the sermon and if you ever doubted my musings were truly random, I think that is confirmed now:)

Good luck to friends and family running the Crazy Legs or any of the La Crosse Fitness Festival races this weekend.

On the road

Nutrition notes: Spent the day traveling to St. Paul and back, so food was mostly a road affair. I think I did ok on calories, but my nutrition continues to be pretty weak. Had a burger and fries for lunch, because it was just easier than trying to pick something better off the limited menu of the museum grill. Still not focused, I guess. Had some ice cream at DQ on ride home, but only ate half and finsihed the day with Cheese Pizza at home. I'd give it a C+ if I were grading. Next 5 days must be better to meet my two pound weight loss goal for next Tuesday.

Exercise: With three prior workout days in a row, I had today scheduled as an off day. It seemed to work out well. I tried to counteract all the car time with a short dog walk this a.m. and by being on my feet at our museum visit for much of the three hours there. Still it was a low motion day and tomorrow I will need to be back at it. That's a test of commitment, must run or go to the Y on Friday after work...

Random musings: Not much to say today. I'm back to work tomorrow after a week off, so I'm hoping to maintain the momentum I've developed during my time off.
Today was a fun day. I went with Anne, the kids and my Mom to the Minnesota Science Museum. The featured exhibit was King Tut and the Pharaohs, which was excellent. The rest of the museum was pretty cool too, and very kid friendly.

I always enjoy trips to the Twin Cities, although the weather gods made sure it was crappy to dampen my fantasy of relocating there. In reality I like La Crosse and it would probably benefit me to plan on being here a while:)

I have an interview for Edgewood's doctoral program next Wednesday, which should be one of the deciders on which direction I go with further education. The good news is they would take my transfer credits from Capella, the bad news is I'm never sure if I really want a doctorate.

All's well and the mission continues...

Vacation is coming to an end

Tomorrow is the last day off of my little mini-spring vacation. As I transition back to normal working life, I think I'll transition the format of my blog a bit too, at least for today.
I've been intermingling my inner musings with diet and fitness reports and it seems presumptuous that everyone (all 6 of you:)) are interested in both. So I'll try separating them out a bit and if anyone objects let me know

4/27 exercise report: Today was a good day. Anne and I went to a 9:00 a.m. spinning class and I really challenged myself for the whole 45 minutes. Spinning is a great workout. I also had my standard 30 minute dog walk later in the day. I continue to debate internally about trying for a June triathlon, but while I vacillate, I'll keep my butt moving. That was good advice from my baby brother:)

4/27 diet report: Started strong today, did my spin class on a banana and lots of water. probably could have eaten more prior, but I rolled out of bed a little late due to some sleepless kids. Had a homemade scone when we returned from class and hit the Diet Pepsi for the day (still struggling with caffeine addiction).
Lunch was out with Anne as we had a kid free day. We went for Mexican at Tequila and I did just ok. Didn't pig out but could have been more careful. Rest of the day was solid. Didn't track food in the diary again today, so I'm threatening myself again that if I don't tomorrow, I have to post an even less flattering picture. I'm trying to be laser focused between now and next weigh-in, so I can see 2 pounds come off, which would be a great motivator.

Random Musings: I don't know if it's the blog or my own psychotic nature or the new focus on training, but I've been more introspective lately. My latest (and chronic) area of obsession has been returning to school this summer to resume progress towards my doctorate. It seems every time I get close to starting it again, I get very anxious about why I'm actually doing that. Sometimes, I feel like I'm on the fast track to jobs I don't really want, if that makes any sense. It feels a a little whiny to complain about success at work, but work takes up so much of my mental energy right now; the thought of taking on more is pretty scary. Where would my health go then? The last promotion sent me into a two year fitness tailspin...

So the latest option that seems to have jumped up in front of me is a chance to get a second masters in mental health counseling. This would enable me to be a counselor, which has been an off and on goal for a long time and would also allow me to teach psychology eventually. Of course, I could also keep doing what I'm doing (until the doctorate becomes a requirement), so I guess the point is, it would give me options. I want to carve out life space to have a few more interests than work. I'm 40 and if I don't do these things now, will I ever? There's still time to learn that guitar and be a rock star:)

Actually this all looks wackier when I type it:) Maybe it's just my anxiety come back to roost.
Sometimes it just feels like I could have more impact (meaning do some good) on a different life path than the one I'm currently on. Trying to sort out what I really want to do and what I like to do versus the joy of meeting and exceeding others expectations will be an on-going project. In the meantime, I'll just keep moving.

Off to the Twin Cities tomorrow to see the King Tut exhibit, so it's a good rest day for exercise and challenge to my diet discipline on the road.

Weigh-in day

I'll eliminate any suspense right now. I weighed in this morning and I was back to 198 lbs. (from 199 the week before)meaning I am exactly where I was two weeks ago at my first weigh-in. I promised myself yesterday that I would just accept today's number and move on, so that's what I'm going to do.

I know why I am where I am. I'm still not disciplined about what I eat and today was a good example. My ever rationalizing mind convinced me that weigh-in day is an ok day to indulge. Combine that with being on the road for the funeral of a colleague's husband and I had a pile of excuses to pull into Culver's on the way home. And because I had already decided that I deserved this for my efforts and I needed relief from the stress of seeing someone lose their spouse, I went for the double cheeseburger and fries, with Cherry Pepsi. There were of course better choices, even at Culver's.

Until I can make myself decide that food is not primarily a reward or stress relief, my weight loss goals will be difficult. I'm amazed at the amount of situations I can come up with where a cheeseburger or ice cream seems like the answer:)

On the exercise front it was a positive day. I did 37 minutes on the elliptical machine and spent 15 minutes or so focusing on upper body cybex stuff. I was fatigued when I was done, so that helps meet my goal of ratcheting up my intensity. I'd like to add more strength training when I have more time. Picking up my daughter from girl scouts won out today and it's hard to argue with that.
Tomorrow includes a 9:00 a.m. spin class and I'm looking forward to it.

I do have a bit of a mental dilemma going on. My blog is focused on my triathlon dreams and weight loss is supposed to be a happy by-product. However, I feel like I'm obsessing with the weight loss part and under-emphasizing the training part.

On the third hand (see why I drive my wife nuts), I need to lose weight before I can really get back to doing the fitness events that I want without getting hurt or going painfully slow. Which leads me to this question: Should I put another triathlon earlier on the calendar (there is one in 6 1/2 weeks I could be ready to do just to finish) or spend the next month focused more strictly on just trying to get my weight down?

Now those two things should go together right... Well for me it hasn't always been that way. Today's blog photo is an example of a time where I was pretty fit, but not real lean.

In the summer of 2009, I was able to run a 4 mile road race in mid-summer. I wasn't real fast but I was fit enough to do it without dying. However if you look at the photo, I didn't exactly have my weight where I wanted it... I think I used the running I was doing as an excuse to eat that whole vacation... You know, because I'd earned it:)

So, I'm debating: Train for a June triathlon to go with my July and September ones and count on my weight loss focus to remain... or spend the month of May singularly focused on losing weight and start training in earnest on June 1st?

Maybe the answer is both, but I'm open to suggestions...