Hi. I'm back.
A few weeks ago, I suspended my blog because it felt a little bit like the hamster on a wheel show. In other words, I was just writing about not getting anywhere. My hope was that I would get a little more focused and could return to this blog with renewed optimism. I had also just about reached the end of my rope with my health, meaning that training for the Urbanathlon was not allowing my foot to heal, if it even could. So, I decided to back off from training, blogging etc. Let me update you on how that has worked out.
The Good News: My foot feels a lot better. Not perfect, but a lot better. I'm glad to say that giving it rest has been successful in getting rid of the point specific pain which was starting to be a major issue. I was afraid that level of pain might have been permanent and while there is still stiffness, the acute pain has gone away. I have hope that if I get my body where it needs to be, I can run again someday. I was really afraid I had done permanent damage, but rest was still the cure.
The bad news: Although I had great intentions of staying with my fitness plan (just no running) when I backed off Urbanathlon training...I just haven't. In fact I'm 6 pounds heavier than I was 6 weeks ago. It's not that I stopped exercising entirely; I just did it sporadically. This once again demonstrates that my approach has always been flawed. Prior to this time off, I had ramped up my exercise to a pretty impressive level, but my weight loss had been minimal. Obviously that means I was allowing my food intake to grow also. And then, when you back off on the exercise, you are able to gain weight pretty damn rapidly. This is actually a pretty profound insight for me. It makes me see why my "exercise your way to fitness" plan has always failed over time.
Also on the bad news front, life has gotten a little complicated this fall. I've been asked to take on some pretty significant new responsibilities at work, some temporary and some permanent. I do appreciate being seen as someone who can do these things, but it's a lot and I'm spread as thin as I ever have been. In addition, my grandmother is terminally ill which has been difficult for all in my extended family. From my selfish stand point, it has simply meant that I'm not meeting anyone's needs recently. I'm not available at work as much as folks want because there are just so many projects and people right now. I'm working very long hours, so I'm not home as much as I want and I have almost no free time (oh yeah my wife works every other weekend, so we have 4 days per month where my whole family is home together) so I'm feeling like I'm not doing everything I could for family in relation to grandma. The logical part of my brain knows you can't meet all those obligations, but logic and guilt aren't friends. Anyway, for me it means stress and stress means food...
My blood pressure is iffy, my sleep sucks and I need to get a handle on all of that.
The Plan: The plan for the next couple months is simply to lose some weight and take better care of myself in general. I still have dreams of events and the title of the blog holds, but reality is I keep getting hurt at my current weight. I will focus on elliptical machines and rowers and bikes for a while. In addition, I'm going to try to get more serious about strength training. It seems very clear that I am missing that from my fitness history and every article I read says it is the key to weight maintenance.
Around the New Year I'll reevaluate to see if I'm ready to start training for anything in specific. My dad is a regular reader of my blog and suggested that maybe I just focus on biking, since I seem to enjoy that so much. It's an idea of merit and we'll see where it goes. I still like the multi-sport stuff, but as I head for 42 we'll see if this body can do that. Honestly, right now I just want to look better naked and get my health back to a better place.
I keep telling myself to act like I have a health crisis and when you look at my BMI and Blood pressure, it's not acting.
This will also be a good period to see what I want to do with work. If I'm honest, there are parts of it I really like, but none worth dying young for. I meet too many people my age, particularly men, who seem to be trading health for money. It seems I've spent 10 years debating a change, perhaps this year can be the one where I either make one or settle in.
Anyway, I can whine about work somewhere else, this is about trying to be the pig in the bacon and egg breakfast of my health. You remember, the chicken is interested, the pig is committed.
Thanks for your interest and wish me luck or just laugh at my futility in trying again...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Capitulation and reloading
I can't do the Urbanathlon (at least not well)... In my current health, I'll never do a longer distance triathlon either. This is the reality I've had to face this week. I have lots of guilt and regret over the Urbanathlon, but I've been fooling myself to try to get to it.
A few bottom lines have emerged:
- When I rest my foot hurts less (but has never completely recovered) and every time I run it hurts more. Truthfully it hurts most of the time and I'm creating other issues by protecting it when I walk.
- Every time I get past 3 miles on a run, I seem to hurt myself
- My blood pressure is out of whack and it ain't just caffeine (been monitoring at work and it is generally 130 something over 90 something)
- Without a doubt, I can no longer use event training in isolation as my weight loss program.
- Limping through Sprint triathlons brings limited joy
- As fit as I may or may not be, I'm not pleased with how I look. My BMI says I'm obese and while that may be dubious, the fact that I am too heavy is not debatable.
Bottom bottom line... I weigh too much and it impacts my health at every turn
So those are my current outcomes from my current methods and as we know you don't get new results with old methods.
So, I'm shifting again.
I have no events on the calendar and I'm not adding any for now. My sole health focus will be doing things that lead to achieving a healthier weight. For now, that will be biking, swimming, and other low impact activities. This way I can see if my foot is ever going to heal. I can see if my BP can be managed. I can get my stress under control and build a diet that befits a 41 year old man, not a 20 year old miscreant. I also will use my fitbit tracker to see if I can add activity to my day in general, rather than rely on a workout to make-up for the bad behavior of the other 23 hours of the day.
I weighed myself this morning and clocked in at 197.3. That's actually lower than expected, but not healthy. I would like to weigh 170 pounds eventually, but for now I'd like to see what losing 5 more pounds does for my health.
I have to admit the Blood Pressure thing unnerves me a bit. It's been going on for a couple years, but I've always been able to get enough good readings to convince myself I'm ok. That is less true since January and not at all the last week. I'm going to continue to monitor it daily and if I don't see progress by the end of the month, I'll see my doctor.
My dreams of triathlons etc. have not gone away, they are just postponed until I can improve my overall health. Doing some things differently is so tough, the inertia of life keeps you in the same patterns. I use the following quote on my work emails and it strikes me as too true today.
"The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones"
I think I'll keep updating this blog, but you can expect it to much more about weight loss for a while. I'm sure I'll randomly muse as well. My work has been great fodder lately, but more another time on that.
Wish me luck. I still believe you don't have to give into getting older and accepting lesser health, you just need a new plan. Just like Stalin, I'm good with new plans, my room for improvement is on the implementation side:)
A few bottom lines have emerged:
- When I rest my foot hurts less (but has never completely recovered) and every time I run it hurts more. Truthfully it hurts most of the time and I'm creating other issues by protecting it when I walk.
- Every time I get past 3 miles on a run, I seem to hurt myself
- My blood pressure is out of whack and it ain't just caffeine (been monitoring at work and it is generally 130 something over 90 something)
- Without a doubt, I can no longer use event training in isolation as my weight loss program.
- Limping through Sprint triathlons brings limited joy
- As fit as I may or may not be, I'm not pleased with how I look. My BMI says I'm obese and while that may be dubious, the fact that I am too heavy is not debatable.
Bottom bottom line... I weigh too much and it impacts my health at every turn
So those are my current outcomes from my current methods and as we know you don't get new results with old methods.
So, I'm shifting again.
I have no events on the calendar and I'm not adding any for now. My sole health focus will be doing things that lead to achieving a healthier weight. For now, that will be biking, swimming, and other low impact activities. This way I can see if my foot is ever going to heal. I can see if my BP can be managed. I can get my stress under control and build a diet that befits a 41 year old man, not a 20 year old miscreant. I also will use my fitbit tracker to see if I can add activity to my day in general, rather than rely on a workout to make-up for the bad behavior of the other 23 hours of the day.
I weighed myself this morning and clocked in at 197.3. That's actually lower than expected, but not healthy. I would like to weigh 170 pounds eventually, but for now I'd like to see what losing 5 more pounds does for my health.
I have to admit the Blood Pressure thing unnerves me a bit. It's been going on for a couple years, but I've always been able to get enough good readings to convince myself I'm ok. That is less true since January and not at all the last week. I'm going to continue to monitor it daily and if I don't see progress by the end of the month, I'll see my doctor.
My dreams of triathlons etc. have not gone away, they are just postponed until I can improve my overall health. Doing some things differently is so tough, the inertia of life keeps you in the same patterns. I use the following quote on my work emails and it strikes me as too true today.
"The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones"
I think I'll keep updating this blog, but you can expect it to much more about weight loss for a while. I'm sure I'll randomly muse as well. My work has been great fodder lately, but more another time on that.
Wish me luck. I still believe you don't have to give into getting older and accepting lesser health, you just need a new plan. Just like Stalin, I'm good with new plans, my room for improvement is on the implementation side:)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
A brief note
Exercise update: I ran my four miles on the treadmill while Hannah was at log-rolling class. It felt ok, but I am anxious to see how my foot feels in the morning. Time will tell I guess
I also have bike commuted this week to work, which is a nice way to add a little activity to the day. I hope it all starts to make a difference. I've been monitoring by blood pressure at work and it is not good. I'm going to work at it for the month and if I don't get it back to normal, I guess it's time to give in and see my doctor. Must lose weight, reduce stress and get caffeine out of my diet.
Nutrition update: Still too much soda, but less. Also, I ate marginally better today. Maybe I'll get serious yet. I had a disastrous weigh in this morning that reflected my behavior over the long weekend. I was back up over 200 pounds for the first time on the new scale. Hopefully it was a pendulum swing and I can get momentum moving the other direction. I'm trying to convince myself that it is life and death, because who knows, it just might be.
Random Musings: I'm still targeting Saturday as D-Day for the Urbanthlon, but the scale today and my BP readings over the last year are giving me a longer term focus. I just need to get healthier, darn it.
Work has been ok, but I'm still overbooked and can't be as effective as I wish I was. I'm trying to get a handle on things and focus on what has impact and meaning for me. No one else is helping me prioritize, so I'll use my own methods. My family has lots of fun stuff planned this year, so I'm looking forward to that too.
And this ends a fairly weak blog entry, but at least I blogged two days in a row. Routine seems to put me in a better place (says the man who feels a need for change:)).
I also have bike commuted this week to work, which is a nice way to add a little activity to the day. I hope it all starts to make a difference. I've been monitoring by blood pressure at work and it is not good. I'm going to work at it for the month and if I don't get it back to normal, I guess it's time to give in and see my doctor. Must lose weight, reduce stress and get caffeine out of my diet.
Nutrition update: Still too much soda, but less. Also, I ate marginally better today. Maybe I'll get serious yet. I had a disastrous weigh in this morning that reflected my behavior over the long weekend. I was back up over 200 pounds for the first time on the new scale. Hopefully it was a pendulum swing and I can get momentum moving the other direction. I'm trying to convince myself that it is life and death, because who knows, it just might be.
Random Musings: I'm still targeting Saturday as D-Day for the Urbanthlon, but the scale today and my BP readings over the last year are giving me a longer term focus. I just need to get healthier, darn it.
Work has been ok, but I'm still overbooked and can't be as effective as I wish I was. I'm trying to get a handle on things and focus on what has impact and meaning for me. No one else is helping me prioritize, so I'll use my own methods. My family has lots of fun stuff planned this year, so I'm looking forward to that too.
And this ends a fairly weak blog entry, but at least I blogged two days in a row. Routine seems to put me in a better place (says the man who feels a need for change:)).
Monday, September 5, 2011
The roller coaster
Exercise update: I've been lax in updating, so I'll catch up a bit here. My last "serious" workout was Saturday. I ran 2+ miles on my treadmill because itwas cruddy outside weather wise. It was the end of a week of low mileage dictated by the Hal Higdon program I'm following this go round. I have to say that my run felt crappy and so did the one on the Thursday prior. As I've mentioned in other posts, I'm attributing it to dietary slippage. At least I hope that's the case.
This week is a big week for me. I have a 4 miler scheduled on Tuesday and a 5 miler on Saturday (Thursday is just 3). I'm going to try to reduce soda and other crap and see how the runs go. I've committed to making a final call on the Urbanathlon by Saturday so this should be telling. If I can do 5 miles on Saturday with minimal discomfort, then I'm locking in and making travel plans etc. If I feel like crap or if more importantly my foot feels like it's going to fall off, then it's back to the drawing board.
The foot thing is eroding my morale and confidence. Just when I think it's improving, I'll have a day where it is beyond stiff and sore when I wake up. I suspect rest will improve it, but I'm also afraid that I'm just going to have arthritis in my foot for the rest of my life, a less than pleasing thought. At some point, I'll give it an extended break from impact exercise and we'll find out. It's just figuring out whether that starts now or post-Urbanathlon that is difficult. I'm sure that shedding 20 lbs. wouldn't hurt it a bit either.
Oh well, big week I guess and I'll know way more by Saturday night.
Nutrition update: I'm am still a self-sabotaging non-serious person when it comes to food. It is with remarkable ease that I slip into my old habits of exercise a lot and eat what I want. In political parlance, I am fighting the last war not the current one. This time tested strategy of mine has only led to being large and fit, with a foot that may fall off at some point.
I'll write more if I ever grow up about food.
Random Musings: My trainer and I parted ways this week. We probably should have months ago because our schedules never lined up. She is free for small windows during weekdays and I have to find a way to escape the office every time we try to meet. She also has a very young son and a fireman husband who make her schedule complicated and we've had to cancel on each other several times. In fact, I finally realized we had only trained 10 times in 12 months. If I'd done the math sooner, maybe I'd have pulled the plug sooner. She was very nice about it and I'm suspecting she'll be famous someday, like in a Biggest Loser kind of way. But in the meantime, I'm back to training myself; a place that's pretty comfortable really.
Having a bit of a melancholy Monday, but this too shall pass. The Olympic triathlon that inspired this blog seems pretty distant, but I'll get there. I've also come to believe that you better not count on your work for fulfillment (too many factors you don't control), but that's not so depressing, it just means I need to look at a broader palate of options for personal growth. There seem to be some out there and I'll write more about them sometime. I have a serious urge to change stuff and when you've settled in a community and career and you like it there, you have to work a little harder to find the novelty that makes life interesting.
This week is a big week for me. I have a 4 miler scheduled on Tuesday and a 5 miler on Saturday (Thursday is just 3). I'm going to try to reduce soda and other crap and see how the runs go. I've committed to making a final call on the Urbanathlon by Saturday so this should be telling. If I can do 5 miles on Saturday with minimal discomfort, then I'm locking in and making travel plans etc. If I feel like crap or if more importantly my foot feels like it's going to fall off, then it's back to the drawing board.
The foot thing is eroding my morale and confidence. Just when I think it's improving, I'll have a day where it is beyond stiff and sore when I wake up. I suspect rest will improve it, but I'm also afraid that I'm just going to have arthritis in my foot for the rest of my life, a less than pleasing thought. At some point, I'll give it an extended break from impact exercise and we'll find out. It's just figuring out whether that starts now or post-Urbanathlon that is difficult. I'm sure that shedding 20 lbs. wouldn't hurt it a bit either.
Oh well, big week I guess and I'll know way more by Saturday night.
Nutrition update: I'm am still a self-sabotaging non-serious person when it comes to food. It is with remarkable ease that I slip into my old habits of exercise a lot and eat what I want. In political parlance, I am fighting the last war not the current one. This time tested strategy of mine has only led to being large and fit, with a foot that may fall off at some point.
I'll write more if I ever grow up about food.
Random Musings: My trainer and I parted ways this week. We probably should have months ago because our schedules never lined up. She is free for small windows during weekdays and I have to find a way to escape the office every time we try to meet. She also has a very young son and a fireman husband who make her schedule complicated and we've had to cancel on each other several times. In fact, I finally realized we had only trained 10 times in 12 months. If I'd done the math sooner, maybe I'd have pulled the plug sooner. She was very nice about it and I'm suspecting she'll be famous someday, like in a Biggest Loser kind of way. But in the meantime, I'm back to training myself; a place that's pretty comfortable really.
Having a bit of a melancholy Monday, but this too shall pass. The Olympic triathlon that inspired this blog seems pretty distant, but I'll get there. I've also come to believe that you better not count on your work for fulfillment (too many factors you don't control), but that's not so depressing, it just means I need to look at a broader palate of options for personal growth. There seem to be some out there and I'll write more about them sometime. I have a serious urge to change stuff and when you've settled in a community and career and you like it there, you have to work a little harder to find the novelty that makes life interesting.
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