Fitness update: Today has been ok. I took Cameron for a short hike and then got myself to the Y for 30 minutes on the elliptical plus some random weight lifting. It's not real focused but it is exercise and it's where I am right now. Once again, I noticed the positive effect getting some exercise has on my mood. Need to keep that learning in mind. I'm certainly not as fit as I was a couple months ago, but that is irrelevant, I just need to move more now.
Nutrition update: I have been drinking less soda since I've been away from work. Understand that my version of less is more than most anyone else would drink in a week, but I am reducing it and that's progress. I did weigh in this morning and I am large, no doubt. My holiday food choices have been mediocre, which probably qualifies as progress:) I'm choosing to not publish my weight until my biometric screening on January 5th. I figure that's a good place for a "before" moment. I'll probably include a picture then too. Between now and then, I'm just trying to do a little better than I have been.
Random Musings: I've had time to consume some media over my break so here's an update. I finally watched The Kids are All Right a couple nights ago. I thought it was fantastic. I laughed, I cried, I found catharsis. What more could you ask of a movie? The short synopsis is that it is about a family headed by two women in which the kids seek out the sperm donor they've never met. The interactions with the donor drive the movie, but what makes it sneaky good is all the lessons to be learned about family and marriage. I was struck by just how "normal" the main characters' marriage is even though it's same sex. Thank goodness people are trying to protect us from that (insert sarcasm here). What I saw is that being married and a parent is hard, no matter the circumstance. It's also funny and awkward and the best thing most of us will do. Anyway, I recommend the movie highly.
If you are wondering about today's title, it's based on a concept my Dad plowed into my head. He always talked about the only way to quit smoking was to keep quitting, meaning that if you slipped one day you just quit again after that. Seems to make sense to me with health too. Yesterday is just sunk costs if it didn't go well, you just start again today. Sounds suspiciously like AA, but long-time readers will know that I think my behavior reeks of addiction anyway, so maybe that's why one day at a time appeals to me. I started taking better care of myself today and I'm sure I'll start again tomorrow.
Happy Boxing Day
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thoughts on Christmas Eve Morning
Random Musings: It's Christmas Eve. It is a day of wildly mixed feelings including the joy of seeing your kids get something they really wanted and the smoldering anger when it is apparent they got something they didn't (I mean don't they know there are kids with nothing! Yes I'm a cliche). There is hope though. My 10 year old seems far less self-centered than my 7 year old, so perhaps time=progress?
If you are lucky like we are this year, you get some time with extended family. Of course my family is extended in so many directions, I'll never see them all, so someone always feels left out I suppose. Like I said, the holiday season is a mixed blessing.
As for my health and fitness, I'm still stuck a bit in neutral. There has been marginal improvement in my blood pressure, but my weight has actually increased and my diet is still a nightmare. I also managed to not get any real exercise for two weeks, Rather than write another "now I'm making a stand" blog posting. I'll just get on with the business at hand.
Exercise update: As noted earlier, I haven't been doing much other than walking my dog and going to my daughter's basketball practices this month. I am pleased to say that I got myself to go to the Y yesterday and just did 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was eye opening. I have really been struggling with mood lately. In fact, I'd say I'm struggling with some moderate depression. This is a particularly stressful year at work and my reaction is always to get tunnel vision and drop everything to get through what needs getting through. At first this feels ok as I eat junk, sleep poorly, and skip exercise in a faux heroic effort to shuffle paper or get through grant season or whatever ginned up crisis I have at work. However in hindsight, I get moody and difficult at home and my health (mental and physical) goes south.
I was struck yesterday at the palpable positive change in my mood from just 30 minutes of cardio. It is certainly a lesson worth holding onto. Walking the dog doesn't relieve stress and depression, but getting the heart rate up in the 150's does. Of course the Y is closed today but the lesson remains.
Nutrition update: In the spirit of doing something different, I have signed up for a rather pricey health promotion program through my company health plan. Starting in January, I will be attending classes called A New Me. it has weekly classes and bi-weekly small group coaching to help you make the positive changes that lead to better health. In other words, it's a de-porking program:). The part I really like is that there is a lot of bio-metric screenings and measurements over a year, even after the classes end in April. The coach in me likes to have numbers to try to beat.
Here's to hoping I finally realize I need to eat differently and act differently to be healthy, much less to be the middle aged athlete I want to be.
I'm sure you'll hear lots of New Me updates in the blog.
Anyway, sorry for the gigantic gap between posts. I'm working on it.
Happy Holidays
If you are lucky like we are this year, you get some time with extended family. Of course my family is extended in so many directions, I'll never see them all, so someone always feels left out I suppose. Like I said, the holiday season is a mixed blessing.
As for my health and fitness, I'm still stuck a bit in neutral. There has been marginal improvement in my blood pressure, but my weight has actually increased and my diet is still a nightmare. I also managed to not get any real exercise for two weeks, Rather than write another "now I'm making a stand" blog posting. I'll just get on with the business at hand.
Exercise update: As noted earlier, I haven't been doing much other than walking my dog and going to my daughter's basketball practices this month. I am pleased to say that I got myself to go to the Y yesterday and just did 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was eye opening. I have really been struggling with mood lately. In fact, I'd say I'm struggling with some moderate depression. This is a particularly stressful year at work and my reaction is always to get tunnel vision and drop everything to get through what needs getting through. At first this feels ok as I eat junk, sleep poorly, and skip exercise in a faux heroic effort to shuffle paper or get through grant season or whatever ginned up crisis I have at work. However in hindsight, I get moody and difficult at home and my health (mental and physical) goes south.
I was struck yesterday at the palpable positive change in my mood from just 30 minutes of cardio. It is certainly a lesson worth holding onto. Walking the dog doesn't relieve stress and depression, but getting the heart rate up in the 150's does. Of course the Y is closed today but the lesson remains.
Nutrition update: In the spirit of doing something different, I have signed up for a rather pricey health promotion program through my company health plan. Starting in January, I will be attending classes called A New Me. it has weekly classes and bi-weekly small group coaching to help you make the positive changes that lead to better health. In other words, it's a de-porking program:). The part I really like is that there is a lot of bio-metric screenings and measurements over a year, even after the classes end in April. The coach in me likes to have numbers to try to beat.
Here's to hoping I finally realize I need to eat differently and act differently to be healthy, much less to be the middle aged athlete I want to be.
I'm sure you'll hear lots of New Me updates in the blog.
Anyway, sorry for the gigantic gap between posts. I'm working on it.
Happy Holidays
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Not a flying start
At the beginning of the month I set out some pretty good objectives. For the better part of the month I didn't meet them. I aspired to work out 4 days a week and never did hit that one until this week.
So, I need to once again regroup. I feel like I'm off to a pretty good start over the holiday. I went from a real workout on Tuesday, to leading basketball practice on Wednesday evening. That in turn led to a 2 mile Turkey Trot with my nephew and family Thanksgiving morning. Friday was an off day and yesterday I did a decent workout at the YMCA. Today was a 60 minute hike with my son. Shockingly, I felt better today than I had in while, stunning...
Activity level is up, but I'm just getting started. I am a 41 year old man with a weight problem, high blood pressure and bad knees. I often say I need to attack this project like someone with a real health crisis. I wonder why I pretend that is hypothetical...
So my objectives for November just became my objectives for December, as a reminder they are:
So, I need to once again regroup. I feel like I'm off to a pretty good start over the holiday. I went from a real workout on Tuesday, to leading basketball practice on Wednesday evening. That in turn led to a 2 mile Turkey Trot with my nephew and family Thanksgiving morning. Friday was an off day and yesterday I did a decent workout at the YMCA. Today was a 60 minute hike with my son. Shockingly, I felt better today than I had in while, stunning...
Activity level is up, but I'm just getting started. I am a 41 year old man with a weight problem, high blood pressure and bad knees. I often say I need to attack this project like someone with a real health crisis. I wonder why I pretend that is hypothetical...
So my objectives for November just became my objectives for December, as a reminder they are:
#1. Blood pressure needs to measure 120 over 80 consistently or I go see my Doc to address it medically
#2. Get my weight under 200 pounds and quit drinking soda (these support objective 1)
#3. Workout at least 4 times a week and include strength training at least twice a week.
I must say if the blood pressure isn't under control by January 1, anyone left reading this should harass me to get to the doctor.
That's all for now, but look for more frequent updates as I shift my focus to health rather than the 27 other things I let steal my focus. It's a cliche, but I can't help with anything or anyone else until I get myself ok.
I must say if the blood pressure isn't under control by January 1, anyone left reading this should harass me to get to the doctor.
That's all for now, but look for more frequent updates as I shift my focus to health rather than the 27 other things I let steal my focus. It's a cliche, but I can't help with anything or anyone else until I get myself ok.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
A brief update
So things are going Ok. I've dropped a couple pounds, mostly from not eating ice cream late at night. My workouts are erratic at best, but that is sort of ok for now since we've established that I know how to exercise. I just choose not to manage the rest of my health picture very well and that choice is where my focus has been recently. I will add that I haven't done well the last 5 days or so. We had a death in the family and I used that reason to take less good care of myself. I have no idea if that's right or wrong, I just know it happened.
So I need some November objectives (not goals, goals don't work)
#1. Blood pressure needs to measure 120 over 80 consistently or I go see my Doc to address it medically
#2. Get my weight under 200 pounds and quit drinking soda (these support objective 1)
#3. Workout at least 4 times a week and include strength training at least twice a week.
Those look a lot like goals, but whatever.
Random Musings: I mentioned above that my grandmother passed away last week. I could write a long tortured piece all about that, but that's not really where I'm at. I'm more struck by what you could learn at most funerals. In sum, you don't have to be a big deal to be a big deal. My Grandma never had a college degree or a high powered career. She always lived in a small town and as the years went on, she stayed closer and closer to that little town and her little house. And yet, I spent two days at a wake and a funeral seeing how much she mattered to people simply because she was in their life. I could have learned the same lesson from my maternal grandfather 20 + years ago, but I wasn't ready. He was a farmer who left school in 8th grade and spent the last 20 years of his life very disabled and yet, I met a church full of people who felt his impact in their lives too.
So, what have I learned (as all educators ask). Well, I feel like most of my ambition has flown out the window, at least in a career sense. In my little work world, I'm a bit of an important person (sort of, it seems weird to say), and it doesn't bring me much joy. My joy is when I can use my role and my resources to help someone; other than that being "important" kind of sucks.
My ambitions are changing. I know they have something to do with deeper human connection and re-discovering some of the confidence the tumult of my 20's stole from me. That's about how far I've gotten:)
Oh yeah, there were lots of pictures of younger me at the funeral. Not only have a gotten tubby, I'm not sure anyone ever aged more in a decade than I did from 30-40. I guess that refocuses me on the work of this blog...
Monday, October 24, 2011
Resurrection
Hi. I'm back.
A few weeks ago, I suspended my blog because it felt a little bit like the hamster on a wheel show. In other words, I was just writing about not getting anywhere. My hope was that I would get a little more focused and could return to this blog with renewed optimism. I had also just about reached the end of my rope with my health, meaning that training for the Urbanathlon was not allowing my foot to heal, if it even could. So, I decided to back off from training, blogging etc. Let me update you on how that has worked out.
The Good News: My foot feels a lot better. Not perfect, but a lot better. I'm glad to say that giving it rest has been successful in getting rid of the point specific pain which was starting to be a major issue. I was afraid that level of pain might have been permanent and while there is still stiffness, the acute pain has gone away. I have hope that if I get my body where it needs to be, I can run again someday. I was really afraid I had done permanent damage, but rest was still the cure.
The bad news: Although I had great intentions of staying with my fitness plan (just no running) when I backed off Urbanathlon training...I just haven't. In fact I'm 6 pounds heavier than I was 6 weeks ago. It's not that I stopped exercising entirely; I just did it sporadically. This once again demonstrates that my approach has always been flawed. Prior to this time off, I had ramped up my exercise to a pretty impressive level, but my weight loss had been minimal. Obviously that means I was allowing my food intake to grow also. And then, when you back off on the exercise, you are able to gain weight pretty damn rapidly. This is actually a pretty profound insight for me. It makes me see why my "exercise your way to fitness" plan has always failed over time.
Also on the bad news front, life has gotten a little complicated this fall. I've been asked to take on some pretty significant new responsibilities at work, some temporary and some permanent. I do appreciate being seen as someone who can do these things, but it's a lot and I'm spread as thin as I ever have been. In addition, my grandmother is terminally ill which has been difficult for all in my extended family. From my selfish stand point, it has simply meant that I'm not meeting anyone's needs recently. I'm not available at work as much as folks want because there are just so many projects and people right now. I'm working very long hours, so I'm not home as much as I want and I have almost no free time (oh yeah my wife works every other weekend, so we have 4 days per month where my whole family is home together) so I'm feeling like I'm not doing everything I could for family in relation to grandma. The logical part of my brain knows you can't meet all those obligations, but logic and guilt aren't friends. Anyway, for me it means stress and stress means food...
My blood pressure is iffy, my sleep sucks and I need to get a handle on all of that.
The Plan: The plan for the next couple months is simply to lose some weight and take better care of myself in general. I still have dreams of events and the title of the blog holds, but reality is I keep getting hurt at my current weight. I will focus on elliptical machines and rowers and bikes for a while. In addition, I'm going to try to get more serious about strength training. It seems very clear that I am missing that from my fitness history and every article I read says it is the key to weight maintenance.
Around the New Year I'll reevaluate to see if I'm ready to start training for anything in specific. My dad is a regular reader of my blog and suggested that maybe I just focus on biking, since I seem to enjoy that so much. It's an idea of merit and we'll see where it goes. I still like the multi-sport stuff, but as I head for 42 we'll see if this body can do that. Honestly, right now I just want to look better naked and get my health back to a better place.
I keep telling myself to act like I have a health crisis and when you look at my BMI and Blood pressure, it's not acting.
This will also be a good period to see what I want to do with work. If I'm honest, there are parts of it I really like, but none worth dying young for. I meet too many people my age, particularly men, who seem to be trading health for money. It seems I've spent 10 years debating a change, perhaps this year can be the one where I either make one or settle in.
Anyway, I can whine about work somewhere else, this is about trying to be the pig in the bacon and egg breakfast of my health. You remember, the chicken is interested, the pig is committed.
Thanks for your interest and wish me luck or just laugh at my futility in trying again...
A few weeks ago, I suspended my blog because it felt a little bit like the hamster on a wheel show. In other words, I was just writing about not getting anywhere. My hope was that I would get a little more focused and could return to this blog with renewed optimism. I had also just about reached the end of my rope with my health, meaning that training for the Urbanathlon was not allowing my foot to heal, if it even could. So, I decided to back off from training, blogging etc. Let me update you on how that has worked out.
The Good News: My foot feels a lot better. Not perfect, but a lot better. I'm glad to say that giving it rest has been successful in getting rid of the point specific pain which was starting to be a major issue. I was afraid that level of pain might have been permanent and while there is still stiffness, the acute pain has gone away. I have hope that if I get my body where it needs to be, I can run again someday. I was really afraid I had done permanent damage, but rest was still the cure.
The bad news: Although I had great intentions of staying with my fitness plan (just no running) when I backed off Urbanathlon training...I just haven't. In fact I'm 6 pounds heavier than I was 6 weeks ago. It's not that I stopped exercising entirely; I just did it sporadically. This once again demonstrates that my approach has always been flawed. Prior to this time off, I had ramped up my exercise to a pretty impressive level, but my weight loss had been minimal. Obviously that means I was allowing my food intake to grow also. And then, when you back off on the exercise, you are able to gain weight pretty damn rapidly. This is actually a pretty profound insight for me. It makes me see why my "exercise your way to fitness" plan has always failed over time.
Also on the bad news front, life has gotten a little complicated this fall. I've been asked to take on some pretty significant new responsibilities at work, some temporary and some permanent. I do appreciate being seen as someone who can do these things, but it's a lot and I'm spread as thin as I ever have been. In addition, my grandmother is terminally ill which has been difficult for all in my extended family. From my selfish stand point, it has simply meant that I'm not meeting anyone's needs recently. I'm not available at work as much as folks want because there are just so many projects and people right now. I'm working very long hours, so I'm not home as much as I want and I have almost no free time (oh yeah my wife works every other weekend, so we have 4 days per month where my whole family is home together) so I'm feeling like I'm not doing everything I could for family in relation to grandma. The logical part of my brain knows you can't meet all those obligations, but logic and guilt aren't friends. Anyway, for me it means stress and stress means food...
My blood pressure is iffy, my sleep sucks and I need to get a handle on all of that.
The Plan: The plan for the next couple months is simply to lose some weight and take better care of myself in general. I still have dreams of events and the title of the blog holds, but reality is I keep getting hurt at my current weight. I will focus on elliptical machines and rowers and bikes for a while. In addition, I'm going to try to get more serious about strength training. It seems very clear that I am missing that from my fitness history and every article I read says it is the key to weight maintenance.
Around the New Year I'll reevaluate to see if I'm ready to start training for anything in specific. My dad is a regular reader of my blog and suggested that maybe I just focus on biking, since I seem to enjoy that so much. It's an idea of merit and we'll see where it goes. I still like the multi-sport stuff, but as I head for 42 we'll see if this body can do that. Honestly, right now I just want to look better naked and get my health back to a better place.
I keep telling myself to act like I have a health crisis and when you look at my BMI and Blood pressure, it's not acting.
This will also be a good period to see what I want to do with work. If I'm honest, there are parts of it I really like, but none worth dying young for. I meet too many people my age, particularly men, who seem to be trading health for money. It seems I've spent 10 years debating a change, perhaps this year can be the one where I either make one or settle in.
Anyway, I can whine about work somewhere else, this is about trying to be the pig in the bacon and egg breakfast of my health. You remember, the chicken is interested, the pig is committed.
Thanks for your interest and wish me luck or just laugh at my futility in trying again...
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